MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– A formal statement out of the Manhattan District Attorney’s office has confirmed that a New York grand jury has officially indicted almost 80 million Americans for voting for then President Donald J. Trump, making this the largest and most sensible decision coming out of the Democrat-run office in decades.
The felony indictment was announced Friday before the weekend and prosecutors working for District Attorney Alvin Bragg have given millions of Trump voters one week to surrender to face indictment on charges or risk having federal law enforcement officers come to their home and mace, beat, and shoot them before being peacefully arrested.
“Voting for Donald Trump is a serious crime,” said Manhattan prosecutor Harry Bawles with a straight face. “Our investigations have proven that almost 80 million criminals have voted for Trump, not once, but also in 2016, proving that voters were trying to overturn a legitimate election by not letting President Joe Biden steal the election with totally legal fraud.”
Bawles added that everyone who voted for Trump has been brought up on criminal charges, including all the voters who had their Trump votes switched to Biden.
“Just because your vote for Trump was stolen doesn’t mean you won’t face consequences,” said Bawles in reference to all the evidence of voter fraud in the 2020 presidential election. “Some Trump voters are even facing charges stemming from many decades ago from when they shamefully cast their votes in 1980 and 1984 for Republican President Ronald Reagan.”
At publishing time, the same Manhattan grand jury also voted to indict all family members of the 80 million Trump voters for being accessories to the crime by not stopping them from voting for Trump. The prosecutor’s office is also charging any children under the age of 5 with taking hush money from their parents in the form of candy, toys, and video games to remain quiet about their involvement.
