Biden Promises To Pardon Jeffrey Dahmer Day One If Reelected
WEST POINT, NEW YORK-- While giving a speech at a West Point…
Frightened Gavin Newsom Hides Under Bed After Guns Come To Life And Break Into His Home
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- A horrible crime happened in California yesterday after a group…
Grieving Democrats Hold Vigil For Iran’s Fallen Austere Scholar President Ebrahim Raisi
WASHINGTON-- Mourning Democrat politicians held a candlelight vigil this morning for their…
Discontented Zelensky Longs For Simple Days Of Just Playing Penis Piano And Dancing In Women’s Heels
KIEV, UKRAINE-- As the war between Ukraine and Russia rages on, disaffected…
Lindsey Graham Calls On Biden To Nuke United States To Stop His Neighbor’s Dog From Barking
WASHINGTON-- After warmongering lunatic Lindsey Graham told NBC news that Iran, Palestine,…
RFK Jr. Says He Waited Until His Brain Worm Was Full Term Before Aborting It
U.S.-- Independent presidential candidate RFK Jr. gave a candid interview with former…
FBI Starts Monitoring Christians To Make Sure No One’s Reading The New Testament
U.S.-- As part of the Antisemitism Awareness Act passed by a bipartisan…
Biden Bans TikTok After Video Service Forgets To Give 10 Percent To The Big Guy
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has officially signed into law a controversial bill that…
Biden And Howard Stern Reminisce About All The Times They Were Racist
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- It was a nostalgic day for both…
Obama Drone Strikes Pizza Delivery Guy After Being Late With His Order
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- After not receiving his pizza within the promised thirty minute…
San Francisco Thieves Steal Adam Schiff’s Suit While He’s Still Wearing It
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- While giving a speech touting how crime is down…
In Response To Ron DeSantis’ Chaplain Bill, Gavin Newsom Appoints Satan Head Of California Education
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In response to Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signing a…
