Thousands Of Rioters Hired After Democrats Deem Them Essential Workers
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Thousands of beneficial rioters have been hired…
Canada’s Trudeau Bans Bananas After Man Slips And Falls On Banana Peel
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Canada has officially banned bananas after a man slip and…
Puerto Rico Officials Use Jedi Mind Trick To Distract From Unused Disaster Supplies
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO-- Officials in Puerto Rico have come together to…
You’re Fired! Chick-Fil-A No Longer Hiring Christian Chickens
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Chick-fil-A made a major announcement this morning on their Twitter…
Climate Change Says That It Now Identifies As Environmentally Fluid
EARTH-- Famous celebrity Climate Change recently gave an interview on Entertainment Weekly…
China President Xi Jinping Voted People’s Republic Of China Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive
BEIJING, CHINA-- Chinese politician and leader of the world's greatest country Xi…
Hunter Under Fire After Accidentally Killing Seagull Thinking It Was Rare Palila Bird
HONOLULU, HAWAII-- A Pennsylvania man who was recently in Hawaii during an…
After Colin Kaepernick Complains, ‘Betsy Ross’ Shoes Sue Nike In Class Action Lawsuit
BEAVERTON, OREGON-- In a new twist to the Colin Kaepernick racist shoe…
American Workers Fight To Take Entire Year Off Except For Labor Day
WASHINGTON-- A protest is currently underway in front of the United States…
The Gum Stepping Generation Has Had Enough
CHEWIE, NEBRASKA-- After a failed March 12 walkout where multiple people ended…
Scientists Create Flu Vaccine To Combat Effects Of Original Flu Vaccine
BIG PHARMA, TEXAS-- After having to finally admit that flu vaccines actually…
Experts Say That Going Naked Is Less Offensive Than Wearing Clothes
REESES, PENNSYLVANIA-- Are your clothes offending someone? Then perhaps you should start walking…