BEAVERTON, OREGON– In a new twist to the Colin Kaepernick racist shoe saga, the millions of pairs of ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ shoes have gotten together and have filed a class action lawsuit against their former employer Nike after they were terminated for being allegedly racist.
In the lawsuit, the shoes claim that they were discriminated against for their uniform colors and were also accused of being racist. The American flag shoes claim that they were wrongfully terminated and are seeking $100 billion in damages, reinstatement to their former jobs, and for Kaepernick to go on national television and apologize to every shoe that he’s falsely accused of racism without sufficient evidence.
According to unnamed sources, Nike fired every pair of ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ shoes after former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick expressed concern about having racist employees wearing slave-era uniforms while working for the athletic giant.
Nike spokesman Schwacher Mann released a statement saying, “Nike has chosen to terminate the employment of the Air Max Fourth of July ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ shoes as they were deemed racist by a former football player without the slightest proof or experience to back it up.”
A lawyer representing the millions of ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ shoes says that his clients are innocent of the false racism charge and that they are the ones who have faced discrimination in and out of the workplace.
The lawyer Andrew Shoe gave a televised press conference inside the main office of the Anti Shoe Defamation League (ASDL) to tell the side of the millions of displaced and now unemployed shoes.
“Has Kaepernick ever held a conversation with one of my clients?” Mr. Shoe asked news reporters. “My clients have been accused of one of the most heinous things imaginable by a man who hasn’t even spent one second getting to know any of them first.”
One of the ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ shoes went on record to say that he’s a good shoe with a kind heart and he has no preference as to which race of human sticks their smelly feet inside of him.
“I have a message for Colin,” said Tom Shoes as he loosened his laces. “Get to know me. You’ll see I’m not such a bad shoe. I’ll sit down for a one-on-one man to shoe interview any time, and I’ll even let you stick your feet inside me.”
A source close to Kaepernick says that it’s unlikely that the former football star will stick his feet into any of the shoes due to the fact that he only wears sandals in the summer because of the excessive heat.
