Beto O’Rourke Promises To Finish Building Border Wall, Only It’ll Be Invisible And People Can Still Walk Through It
EL PASO, TEXAS-- In an effort to reach out to Texas Republicans,…
It’s 2036, Bernie Bros Saying Sanders Still Has Chance To Win 2020 Nomination
MONTPELIER, VERMONT-- Still holding out hope that Bernie Sanders will get the…
Lizard Person Liz Cheney Removes Human Skin To Appeal To Reptile Demographic
WASHINGTON-- In a last ditch effort to help her struggling campaign to…
Fly That Landed On Mike Pence’s Head Turns Down Offer To Be His Vice President
WASHINGTON-- Former VP Mike Pence has been in the spotlight lately after…
Biden Criticizes President For Cost Of Meat, Says He’d Do Better Job If He Were In Charge
WASHINGTON-- After one of his family friends pointed out how expensive meat…
Honest Democrats Rename New Virus Outbreak The ‘Mail-In Ballot Midterm Variant’
WASHINGTON-- In a very rare moment of honesty that only comes around…
Beto O’Rourke Promises He’ll Be The First Mexican-American Governor Of Texas
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- Former Democratic US Representative Beto O'Rourke has recently announced he's…
Obama Visits New Jersey To Teach Governor Phil Murphy How To Better Lie To Voters Before Election
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- Former President Barack Hussein Obama spent some time in…
Accused Myanmar Leader Claims She Used Biden Strategy Of Hiding In Basement To Win Election Legitimately
NAYPYITAW, MYANMAR-- After getting arrested by Myanmar's military for alleged election fraud,…
FBI Finally Issues Arrest Warrant After 2 Million Years Of Investigation For Caveman Accused Of Rigging World’s First Presidential Election
RISING FAWN, GEORGIA-- The FBI issued an arrest warrant for a caveman…
Joe Biden’s Husband Files For Divorce From Joe Biden
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden's husband has officially filed for divorce from former Vice…
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Gives Losing Concession Speech After Hearing She Won New York Primary
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was stricken with grief after…