Dejected Mark Carney Got This Slick Haircut And Cool New Suit For Summit And Trump Didn’t Even Notice
GYEONGJU, SOUTH KOREA - In a heart-wrenching display of global embarrassment, Canadian…
Trump Gains Mutant Powers After Drinking Japanese Tap Water
TOKYO, JAPAN-- During a diplomatic visit to Japan, President Donald Trump's body…
Citizens Beg Trump To Drop Tariffs On Canada After Doug Ford Streaks Through World Series In Retaliation
CANADA / US-- In a major escalation in the ongoing U.S.-Canada tariff…
Trump Welcomes Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese To White House
WASHINGTON-- In typical Aussie "Down-Under" fashion, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese arrived at…
‘No Kings’ Protester Clarifies He’s Not Paid To Protest, Just Compensated To Participate In A Demonstration Not Driven By Personal Beliefs
PORTLAND, OREGON-- A "No Kings" protester in downtown Portland has clarified that…
Zelensky Secures Massive ‘Bang Gun’ Shipment In Historic Arms Deal From Trump Summit
WASHINGTON-- Hailed as a decisive turning point in the war against Russia,…
Alec Baldwin Cleared In Hamptons Crash After Mistaking Tree For Trump Supporter
EAST HAMPTON, NEW YORK-- In a stunning victory for selective justice, renowned…
Trump Disqualified From Nobel Peace Prize For ‘Excessive Peace Deals,’ Committee Says
OSLO, NORWAY-- The Norwegian Nobel Committee today announced their decision to disqualify…
Mark Carney Gets Dominated By Trump After Forgetting His Elbows Back In Canada
WASHINGTON-- In an embarrassing display of international weakness, Canadian Prime Minister Mark…
JB Pritzker Yells ‘Nothing To See Here, Move Along,’ As Antifa Burns Down Governor’s Mansion Behind Him
SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS-- Flanked by Antifa rioters in black bloc gear throwing Molotov…
Pope Leo Hangs ‘Sorry, Illegal Immigrants, America’s That Way’ Signs On Vatican Wall
VATICAN CITY-- In a decision condemned by some as papal hypocrisy, Pope…
Chicago Mayor Warns Trump’s Military Presence Could Disrupt Drive-By Shootings
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- In an impassioned press conference held this morning at City…