Trump Releases Official Limited-Edition Gold Nuclear Fallout Masks
WASHINGTON — As global tensions continue to rise over the escalating conflict…
Pam Bondi Reassigned As White House Easter Bunny In Lateral Move
WASHINGTON — Just weeks after being abruptly ousted from her position as the…
Trump Tells American Children Iran Executed The Easter Bunny
WASHINGTON — In a solemn and deeply moving Easter week address, President…
JD Vance Conducts High-Stakes Iran Talks Through Trump Sock Puppet
TEHRAN, IRAN — In a move officials are calling innovative and cost-effective,…
Trump Sends Steven Seagal To Singlehandedly Defeat Entire Iranian Military, Assures War Will End Before Credits Roll
WASHINGTON — Expressing frustration with the slow pacing and boring dialogue of…
Japan Prime Minister Offers Severed Pinky After Refusing Trump’s Request For Warships
WASHINGTON—In what Japan described as a deeply meaningful gesture of respect, accountability,…
Trump Endorses Jake Paul’s Sweaty Armpits After They ‘Worked Harder In 5 Minutes Than Massie In 10 Years’
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — At a rally Tuesday night, Donald Trump stunned supporters…
France Surrenders To U.S. Minutes After Trump Tells Iran To ‘Unconditional Surrender’
PARIS, FRANCE — In a move historians are calling one of the…
US Government Apologizes For Accidentally Releasing Iran False Flag Two Weeks Before It Happens
WASHINGTON— The State Department issued a rare formal apology today after a…
Smiling Face Of John McCain Spotted Forming In Smoke Cloud Over Iran
TEHRAN, IRAN — Residents and satellite images alike reported Saturday that a…
Republicans Demand Trump Stop Implementing GOP Platform So They Can Keep Fundraising Off Pretending To Support It
WASHINGTON—In an emergency closed-door meeting Friday, a coalition of concerned Senate Republicans…
Democrats Claim Playing Trump’s State Of The Union Backwards Reveals Secret Russian Directives
WASHINGTON— Calling it the most chilling and undeniable piece of evidence discovered…