CNN Accuses Trump Of Being ‘Aggressively Uncooperative’ For Refusing To Be Assassinated
WASHINGTON — In a blistering prime-time segment following Saturday night’s chaos at…
Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating All Doctors Wear White Robes And Red Sashes
WASHINGTON—Citing a desperate need for clarity in the medical field, President Donald…
Trump Orders Airstrikes On CNN Headquarters After Claiming Network Months Away From Developing Nuclear Weapons
WASHINGTON — In a stunning escalation of his long-running feud with the media,…
Trump Releases Official Limited-Edition Gold Nuclear Fallout Masks
WASHINGTON — As global tensions continue to rise over the escalating conflict…
Pam Bondi Reassigned As White House Easter Bunny In Lateral Move
WASHINGTON — Just weeks after being abruptly ousted from her position as the…
Trump Tells American Children Iran Executed The Easter Bunny
WASHINGTON — In a solemn and deeply moving Easter week address, President…
JD Vance Conducts High-Stakes Iran Talks Through Trump Sock Puppet
TEHRAN, IRAN — In a move officials are calling innovative and cost-effective,…
Trump Sends Steven Seagal To Singlehandedly Defeat Entire Iranian Military, Assures War Will End Before Credits Roll
WASHINGTON — Expressing frustration with the slow pacing and boring dialogue of…
Japan Prime Minister Offers Severed Pinky After Refusing Trump’s Request For Warships
WASHINGTON—In what Japan described as a deeply meaningful gesture of respect, accountability,…
Trump Endorses Jake Paul’s Sweaty Armpits After They ‘Worked Harder In 5 Minutes Than Massie In 10 Years’
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — At a rally Tuesday night, Donald Trump stunned supporters…
France Surrenders To U.S. Minutes After Trump Tells Iran To ‘Unconditional Surrender’
PARIS, FRANCE — In a move historians are calling one of the…
US Government Apologizes For Accidentally Releasing Iran False Flag Two Weeks Before It Happens
WASHINGTON— The State Department issued a rare formal apology today after a…