Kamala Promises She’s Not Confiscating Guns, She’s Just Borrowing Them And Never Returning Them
WASHINGTON-- With word spreading quickly that Kamala Harris intends on confiscating American's guns, the Democrat candidate set the record straight and eased everyone's minds by explaining she has no intention…
Gavin Newsom Claims Pooping Homeless People Are Just AI-Generated Deepfakes
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- On the heels of recently banning all AI-generated images in California, Governor Gavin Newsom has confirmed that all those images and videos of homeless people pooping everywhere all…
FBI Goes Undercover As Ghosts To Stop Illegal Ghost Car Operation
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- With ghost car crimes becoming more prevalent across the United States, the highly qualified FBI decided to take a break from arresting people for posting…
Frightened Mitch McConnell Retracts Into Shell After Hearing Threat Of Government Shutdown
WASHINGTON-- After hearing the news that the US government might shut down if an election integrity bill is not passed in Congress, Senator Mitch McConnell became startled by the news…
‘We Can Do Starbucks While We’re Getting Nuked,’ Says Oblivious Woman Voting For Kamala
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- While sitting inside of a Starbucks drinking soy lattes, two local Democrat women discussed the need to make sure Donald Trump doesn't get back into office, even…
Secret Service Agents Didn’t See Trump Gunman Because Golf Course Was Too Sloped
WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- After another failed assassination attempt on Donald Trump where the shooter got away before being apprehended by local police, the Secret Service put out a statement…
Politician Who’s Already Struggling In Polls Threatens Nuclear War With Russia
OTTAWA, CANADA-- As his poll numbers and favorability among Canadians continue to sink lower and lower, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau came up with the brilliant idea to help his struggling…
Kamala’s Stern Warning To Russia, China If Elected: ‘I Grew Up Middle Class With A Nice Lawn’
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- During a rare one-on-one interview with a local Philly news station, Kamala Harris was asked what her plan was on how to deal with countries such as Russia,…
John Wick Returns For Revenge After Haitians Eat His Dog
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO-- A new John Wick movie will be released early next year starring actor Keanu Reeves, with the story revolving around the assassin coming out of retirement to seek…
‘Springfield, Ohio Residents Are Bad For Not Accepting Illegal Haitians,’ Says John Legend From Behind Walled Home In Rich White Neighborhood
BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA-- Singer John Legend has recently come to the defense of the tens of thousands illegal Haitians who have been shipped to the little town of Springfield, Ohio…
MSNBC Labels Biden ‘Far-Right MAGA Extremist Russian Asset’ After He Wore ‘Trump 2024’ Hat
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- During an event to commemorate the 911 tragedy, Joe Biden put on a "Trump 2024" MAGA hat and took pictures with the majority Republican crowd, which…
Taylor Swift Already Writing Her Next Breakup Song About Kamala Harris
U.S.-- Only hours after endorsing Kamala Harris for president, anonymous sources have said pop singer Taylor Swift has been having doubts about their relationship and has been growing tired of…
