After Sending Warships To Secure Israel’s Border, Biden Secures US Border By Sending His Thoughts And Prayers
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after Israel was breached by Hamas, Joe Biden quickly began sending aircraft and warships to protect the border of the Middle East foreign country, but also finally…
Eric Swalwell Falls Madly In Love With AOC After She Farts Out Seductive Mating Call
WASHINGTON-- During a recent livestream discussing the brutal war between Israel and Palestine, New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) changed the boring subject over to her horrid dating life…
‘They’re Ruthless,’ Says Ben Shapiro After Hamas Shares AI-Generated Photo Of Him Eating Bacon
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE-- In response to an AI-generated photo shared by Ben Shapiro of a burnt Israeli baby, terrorist group Hamas posted their own fake photo of The Daily Wire host…
Congress Introduces New Updated American Flag That’s More Representative Of The United States
WASHINGTON-- Due to both their undying support and subservience to multiple foreign countries, the US Congress was proud to announce that they recently passed a bill by an almost unanimous…
Millions Of Unvaccinated Americans Still Waiting To Die As Third Anniversary Of Biden’s ‘Winter Of Severe Illness And Death’ Approaches
U.S.-- As the three year anniversary of Biden's warning to the unvaccinated approaches, millions of healthy and happy Americans who chose not to get the COVID shot are somehow still…
George Bush Comes Out Of Retirement Just To Yell ‘Palestine Has Weapons Of Mass Destruction’ To Trick Americans Into War
CRAWFORD, TEXAS-- In an effort to scare hesitant conservative Americans into supporting another war in the Middle East, former President George Bush came out of retirement to give a televised…
Apathetic Man Doesn’t Support Israel Or Palestine
MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE-- With the war between Israel and Palestine raging most Americans have picked a side for whom they support, but one very apathetic local man named Gary Boomer…
Democrats Celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day By Stealing Lahaina Land From Indigenous Hawaiians
WASHINGTON-- In honor of the indigenous community who had their land taken from them many years ago, Democrat politicians celebrated this year's Indigenous Peoples' Day by stealing the Hawaiian land…
Mike Pence Announces That He’s Running For President Of Both Ukraine And Israel
CARMEL, INDIANA-- During a presidential rally inside of his living room back in Indiana, former vice president Mike Pence made a major announcement that he has decided to run for…
CNN Reports Israel-Palestine Attacks Are Fiery But Mostly Peaceful Protests
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- America's most trusted news source CNN has reported that the carnage happening in both Israel and Gaza are simply fiery but mostly peaceful protests between the Israelis and…
Mark Ruffalo Claims Trump’s An ‘Enemy Of America’ For His Attack On Pearl Harbor In 1941
HOLLYWOOD-- Hollywood actor Mark Ruffalo has voiced his displeasure with Donald Trump once again, claiming that the Republican presidential candidate is an enemy of America for causing the brutal attack…
Beto O’Rourke Glues Himself To Texas Fence To Stop Biden From Finishing Border Wall
RIO GRANDE, TEXAS-- In a desperate attempt to stop Joe Biden from finishing construction on the southern Texas border wall, former Democrat Rep. Beto O'Rourke superglued his entire body to…
