WASHINGTON– Due to both their undying support and subservience to multiple foreign countries, the US Congress was proud to announce that they recently passed a bill by an almost unanimous bipartisan decision to redesign the American flag to include the top countries that own them.
During an interview with MSNBC, Republican South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham said that the new updated American flag will now include the country flags of Israel, Ukraine, China, and Saudi Arabia. The old American flag will be very small and will be situated in the middle of all the other foreign flags because the United States is everyone’s bitch.
“This new American flag perfectly tells the world just how corrupt US politicians are,” said Senator Graham exuberantly as he moaned in excitement. “Oh my, I have so many different bosses, and none of them are the American people. By now everyone knows that we hate the United States and put American citizens last, so we may as well just embrace that distinguished honor of being traitors to our country.”
Graham went on to say that even though there’s many other countries around the world that corrupt US politicians are involved in, they only approved putting the main four countries on the flag because there wasn’t enough space to include everyone.
“Kind of resembles a gangbang of countries, now doesn’t it?” Graham said giddily as he licked his cracked lips in excitement. “Even though we do the bidding of so many people, we still have a hierarchy of bosses which is why Israel’s first on the new flag.”
The flamboyant Graham ended the video with good news for the American people, saying that Congress has also approved sending another $600 billion to Ukraine and $900 billion to Israel.
