WASHINGTON – In a swift response to the tragic Minneapolis school shooting, House Republicans have unveiled the “Save Our Children Act,” a landmark bill aimed at banning “high-capacity assault trannies” from public spaces. The legislation, championed by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), targets individuals who possess “excessive gender fluidity” and “enhanced pronoun capacity,” deemed a threat to national security.
“We can’t let these weapons of mass confusion roam our schools,” Greene declared during a press conference. “It’s time to put America first and protect our children from the scourge of high-capacity assault trannies.”
The bill defines a high-capacity assault tranny as “any individual who has undergone more than two gender transitions within a 12-month period, or who has been known to use more than five pronouns in a single sentence.” Critics argue the language is too broad, potentially criminalizing drag queens, non-binary TikTok influencers, and anyone who’s ever used “they/them” ironically.
House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) defended the measure, citing “overwhelming evidence” that assault trannies are more lethal than AR-15s. “These aren’t your grandma’s trans people,” Johnson warned. “We’re talking about individuals with the capacity to transition faster than a Glock can fire bullets.”
The NRA issued a statement supporting the bill, saying, “While guns don’t kill people, high-capacity assault trannies absolutely do.” Meanwhile, the ACLU vowed to challenge the legislation, calling it “a gross infringement on the Second Amendment right to bear multiple genders.” As the bill moves to committee, lawmakers are already debating amendments, including a provision to require background checks for anyone purchasing more than three wigs or a year’s supply of estrogen.
In related news, the Minneapolis shooter’s manifesto revealed a history of rapid-fire pronoun switching and a collection of 17 different gender reveal party invitations. “This tragedy could have been prevented if only we’d taken action sooner,” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). “Now, let’s make sure no child has to endure the horror of a high-capacity assault tranny again.”
