TEL AVIV, ISRAEL– A worried and subservient President Joe Biden flew to Israel today after he was summoned by his Israeli boss Benjamin Netanyahu to go over in person what his next orders will be regarding the Israel first agenda.
As he walked down the Air Force One steps with nervous trepidation in his gait, Biden tripped and then rolled down the rest of the way before he stopped at the feet of his incensed boss Netanyahu.
“Uh, h-h-h-hello, boss, you wanted to-to-to see me?” Biden asked as he urinated down his pant leg and then shook it like a dog. “Sorry I’m a little late, but I’ve been kind of busy lately trying to get that Donald Trump guy locked up in prison. Did you get those baked pork chops I sent you that my wife made? Jill also knows how to rustle up a damn good Christmas ham if you wanted to stop by this year.”
According to witnesses, Netanyahu sternly reamed out Biden for about ten minutes before ordering the American president to run along the side of the Israeli prime minster’s motorcade as they made their way back to the office to discuss how much money the Middle East foreign country will be getting from the American taxpayers.
“I think you accidentally left off a zero when you said you were sending Israel only $100 billion, Biden,” said Netanyahu, hinting that Israel should be getting $1 trillion in aid instead. “Taking over the world doesn’t come cheap, Biden, and the paltry $3 billion a year you give us just isn’t cutting it anymore. I’ll be sending over a few more undercover Israeli spies to infiltrate your Congress so that I can keep a better watch over you. You just have to stop trying to sniff their hair all the time.”
Netanyahu reiterated to Biden that if he wants to win the next US presidential election then he better start playing ball and do what he says because just like Ukraine he knows all Sleepy Joe’s big secrets.
