WASHINGTON– After numerous calls for him to be arrested for the Russian collusion hoax against President Trump, former President Barack Obama has declared himself completely innocent of treason following an exhaustive self-investigation that he conducted by himself on himself inside of his home in Washington.
In a press conference held on his front lawn, Obama announced that the self-probe into the accusations of him spearheading a massive coup against then President Trump proved he was totally innocent.
“It looks like I’ve proved once and for all that I didn’t do anything wrong,” said Obama with a smile as he held up a paper with the results of his investigation. “After appointing myself special counsel, lead investigator, and star witness, and after hours of self-reflection, I determined that I am completely innocent of all charges of fabricating some kind of Russia hoax. Case closed.”
Obama went on to say that he definitely remained impartial while performing the investigation into his alleged crimes of treason, proving it by giving everyone his word and pinky-swearing with himself.
“I truly believe I’m telling the truth,” said Obama as he kept his pinky fingers locked.
The former president also declared that wife Michelle has also thoroughly investigated her own accusations, determining that she is in fact a real woman.
