WASHINGTON– With reports of RFK Jr. going around the White House constantly checking everyone’s eating habits, a worried President Donald Trump began labeling his favorite cans of Diet Coke with “Raw Milk” stickers in an effort to shake off the pesky, health conscious Health Secretary.
Sources say RFK Jr. has been going around watching what his fellow Cabinet members, White House staff, and even Trump himself have been eating and drinking. After telling Trump numerous times that he needs to do something about his Diet Coke habit, Trump finally got tired of his fussy Secretary of Health and had to start hiding the soda.
“Oh geez, Bobby’s coming up again,” said Trump nervously as he placed one of the raw milk stickers on his Diet Coke can. “Now, Bobby’s a good guy, smart guy, real healthy. But I told him, Bobby, I got to have my Diet Coke. I told him I’ve stopped drinking soda just to get him to leave me alone. You should see the way Bobby stares at me when he walks by, it’s like he knows I’ve been cheating on him by drinking soda.”
That’s when Trump came up with the idea of putting the stickers on the side of the can. RFK Jr. was said to be pleased with Trump’s decision to start drinking the raw milk, but was a little confused as to when stores started selling it in little cans.
Tired of getting criticized for what he eats as well, Trump also tried tricking RFK Jr. by placing “Raw Steak” labels on all of his McDonald’s fast food bags.
