D-List Celebrities Threaten To Quit If Trump Wins

HOLLYWOOD– A group of talented D-list celebrities has threatened to quit show-business altogether and get real jobs if Donald Trump is elected as president of the United States, placing the American people in a conundrum of whether to indulge in these talented celebrities or make America great again.

At an anti-Trump rally on Monday in the second-most honest city in America, Rosie O’Donnell led a coalition of famous D-list celebrities in opposition to Trump’s candidacy for president, which included such top celebrities as Lena Dunham, Jon Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Sharpton, Cher, Young Jeezy, Waka Flocka Flame, Meek Mill, Chris Brown, Metro Boomin, Raury, Charlamagne Tha God and many other well-known never-Trump stars.

“If Trump wins I’ll never act or eat again,” O’Donnell shouted into a microphone while up on stage in front of a large crowd of two people. “If you people want to keep seeing me eating up on the big screen then you better not vote for Trump! Vote for that other guy who’s married to Bill Clinton!”

After O’Donnell ate the microphone, a few other celebrities took turns voicing their educated, succinct opinions regarding Trump’s candidacy.

“Fuck Trump and fuck the pigs,” said Chris Brown eloquently as he pounded a fist against the podium, showing the world his disdain for Trump. “God will have his revenge. Trust me.”

“Fuck Donald Trump and anybody that loves him,” said former English professor and current rapper Charlamagne Tha God after Brown was taken away in handcuffs for pimp-slapping the podium for giving him back-talk.

During an interview with CBS news correspondent Major Garrett, Donald Trump had a message for the celebrities who were threatening to leave show-business and get real jobs.

“This’s great news,” Trump said with delight, Mexican band Los Mierdas playing music behind him. “As part of my plan to make America great again I’m gonna be building a second wall around the entire state of California and I’m gonna need people to work on it, since this second wall doesn’t come under the Mexico financial stipulations like the first wall does.”

“I ain’t building shit,” Tha God promised after hearing Trump’s proposal.

Update: After this article was posted it was reported in various news outlets that Tha God and some of the other celebrities who were boycotting Trump were seen standing in line at Trump’s office in Los Angeles filling out employment forms.