U.S.– Republican candidate Donald Trump made a major announcement during a rally this week, promising that if he’s elected president he will not only release the Jeffrey Epstein files, but will also release the Peanut the Squirrel files as well.
The pet Peanut the Squirrel was an internet sensation who was murdered by radical New York Democrats, the same Democrats who claim that no one is coming for people’s pets. After the massive public outcry over the cute rodent’s unnecessary death, former President Trump promised the American people that he will release the Peanut files in an effort to shame the Democrats who stormed into a man’s home and killed his cute little squirrel.
“The radical left lunatics took an innocent squirrel’s life this week,” said Trump during a rally as thousands of people chanted for justice. “A lot of Democrats hate animals, hate your pets. If I’m elected president, I promise I will immediately release the Peanut the Squirrel files, which in my opinion, is an even bigger coverup than the Jeffrey Epstein files. Together we will make squirrels safe again.”
Numerous internet sleuths have tried to make sense of the squirrel’s assassination, with many people claiming the squirrel was tied to Epstein and the Democrats had the rodent killed in an effort to keep it quiet.
In addition to releasing the Peanut files, Trump also promised when he gets back into the White House that he will also make the Harambe the gorilla files public as well.
