MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– An Eastern gray squirrel who witnessed jailed multimillionaire and accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s apparent suicide, has also died by suicide only days after going into witness protection to keep him safe until the upcoming new Epstein trial so that he could testify against countless powerful people.
The squirrel, whose name hasn’t been released yet, came forward to authorities on Sunday with evidence of what really happened to accused pedophile Epstein, 66, and also new information on infamous St James Island.
The squirrel claimed that the mainstream media was lying about Epstein’s “suicide” and that his eyewitness testimony would have brought down extremely wealthy people with net worth even higher than rich business magnate Scrooge McDuck.
The rodent told authorities that he was walking past Epstein’s prison window at the Manhattan Correctional Facility around 6:38 am on Saturday while on his way to a nearby oak tree in the prison yard to meet a family friend for breakfast, stopping at Epstein’s prison cell window after smelling pepperoni pizza coming from inside the room.
After coming forward, the squirrel was placed into protective custody and was about to blow the whistle on what really happened during the morning of August 10 when Epstein apparently ended his life while no one was watching and no cameras were recording.
While in the protective custody of some of the FBI’s top special agents inside of a highly secured building with dozens of cameras, the squirrel somehow tied his little paws behind his back, put a pillow case over his head, and shot himself five times in the back of the head.
About four hours after his suicide, the squirrel was found unresponsive inside of his room where he was supposedly being watched constantly. The squirrel was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was given lifesaving procedures, but was pronounced dead hours later.
Federal officials stated that no foul play is suspected in his death. The FBI released a statement to CNN regarding the squirrel’s suicide and that they will be continuing the investigation into how it happened.
“The squirrel apparently took his own life,” the FBI said in a statement released two days prior to the squirrel coming forward. “It’s an apparent suicide and the FBI is deeply saddened that this witness will never be able to testify in connection to this extremely important, high-profile case.”
Once news of the squirrel’s “suicide” went public, many conspiracy theories started popping up on social media sites, with the hashtag #ArkancidedSquirrel trending on Twitter until it was taken down. Many famous individuals and groups, such as Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, Mossad, the Deep State, Hollywood, anti-squirrel organizations, and even Jeffrey Epstein have been accused of murdering the squirrel for what he had seen.
Immediately after the squirrel was pronounced dead, an autopsy was performed and the results were inconclusive pending further analysis. So his body was cremated and his ashes were scattered around a local New York homeless area under a few oak trees.
“It’s what the squirrel wanted,” said the FBI in the statement.
