EAGLE PASS, TEXAS– As the border crisis standoff between Texas and the Biden administration continues to escalate, thousands of unhappy illegal aliens were seen at the southern Texas border wearing “I crossed the border and all I got was this lousy t-shirt, (and free money, housing, and healthcare)” t-shirts.
“I came to the USA all the way from El Salvador and all I got was this trash?” A dissatisfied migrant asked in reference to only receiving the shirt, as well as a drivers license, healthcare, a brand new home, and $100,000 from President Joe Biden. “El Presidente Biden promised me many glorious, grande things if I brought me and my 5,000 relatives to the US, and he dares to insult me with these little things. I thought I would have been the leader of America by now.”
Biden tried to quell the anger among the illegal immigrants by telling them the $100,000 is only the beginning and once they vote for him in the 2024 election then they will receive the other $500,000 promised to them after it’s taken from legal American taxpayers.
“Don’t worry, guys, once I get this wheelchair governor out of the way we’ll get back on schedule,” said Biden as he googled how to remove the battery from Governor Greg Abbott‘s electric wheelchair. “All you brown folks are going to be my new voting base, Jack. For some reason I lost the black vote. I can’t understand why after I tried making them feel more comfortable by calling them “coloreds” and “negroes.” It makes no sense.”
Unfortunately for Biden, the promise of hundreds of thousands of dollars more per immigrant wasn’t enough and the disgruntled illegals began saying that maybe they should vote for Donald Trump in the upcoming presidential election.
At publishing time, Biden had rounded up and shipped all the illegal immigrants back over the border once he heard they were planning on voting for Trump.
