WASHINGTON– After hearing of Narendra Modi’s reelection win for prime minister of India, President Joe Biden quickly got on the White House phone and called the fictional Indian character Apu from The Simpsons to congratulate him on his close victory.
Biden was all smiles as he believed he actually spoke to a nonexistent cartoon character whom he truly believed was now the real prime minister of India.
“Apu, great to hear from you, man, and congratulations on your win,” said Biden as his confused aides went along with the insanity. “I’m sure you’ll make a great leader and I look forward to working with you once I steal my election again from that Trump guy, what’s his name.”
A brave intern finally told Biden that the prime minister of India is a real person named Modi and that the Apu Nahasapeemapetilon character from The Simpsons doesn’t actually exist.
“You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier, you stupid bastard,” said Biden angrily in disbelief. “You mean to tell me that someone I just spoke to over the phone is not even a real person? Listen, Jack, it looks like you’re the one who needs mental help. I’m still coherent and as sharp as a tack because I know for a fact that my name’s John Brandon and I’m married to my beautiful wife Jennifer Lawrence.”
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told press reporters that Biden never called Apu and that it was Donald Trump who made the phone call due to him having severe brain damage
