NEW YORK, NEW YORK– The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has placed a seagull on their list of anti-Semite extremists after the racist, white bird pooped on a Jewish man in what the anti-hate organization is calling one of the worst crimes since the holocaust.
The head of the ADL Jonathan Greenblatt has called the seagull a dangerous white supremacist who targeted the victim solely because he was Jewish.
“What that white nationalist seagull did was a hate crime, plain and simple,” said Greenblatt on MSNBC, regarding the bird being added to the hate watchlist. “Due to the seriousness of this hate crime, we here at the ADL have placed this extremist bird on our top ten list of most dangerous anti-Semitic, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, far-right white supremacists in the country.”
According to Greenblatt, the victim of the seagull hate crime is recovering in a local hospital due to injuries he sustained from the crap hitting his shoulder through three layers of clothing.
After intense pressure from the ADL to hold the seagull accountable for its hate crime, the FBI raided the bird’s nest early this morning and arrested the seagull. The bird faces 92-years in prison and has already been sued by the family of the victim for $69 billion.
