WASHINGTON– With rumors circulating that Joe Biden has hinted at initiating another lockdown as the election gets closer, politicians have promised that after they quarantine the American people they will totally disregard their own rules and do the complete opposite during the next phase of COVID mandates.
“Yeah, um, about those lockdown rules,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom with a smirk. “Us elitist politicians definitely won’t be following our own guidelines just like in 2020 when we had citizens arrested for doing the same thing that we did right out in the open.”
During the first lockdown, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was seen multiple times disobeying her own rules by going maskless out in public and having the same dinner parties that she told other people were “super-spreader events.”
“Oh heaven’s no, I’m not really worried about the upcoming lockdown,” said Pelosi while her husband Paul played with power tools. “Those COVID rules only affect the peasants. You see, when you’re rich and more superior than the average citizen the virus just skips right over you and infects one of the lower class people. I guess it’s one of the perks of the job.”
When reached for comment, President Biden said he hadn’t set a date yet for the next lockdown because he was waiting to see if the indictments worked on knocking Donald Trump out of the presidential race.
“My wife told me to get my dancing shoes ready for when I reinstate the new lockdown,” joked Biden in reference to all the partying the Democrats have planned once Ukraine gets the new virus finished.
