SOUTH PARK, COLORADO– The Department of Justice has indicted Donald Trump once again, announcing that they have irrefutable proof that the former president has killed cartoon elementary student Kenny McCormick in a recent episode of the popular animated sitcom South Park.
Colorado Attorney General Harry Buttz said the murder of a beloved cartoon character is a serious offense and told news reporters that Trump is set to be arrested and charged with fictional homicide.
“No one is above the law, not even a president of the United States,” promised Attorney General Buttz while FBI agents worked hard covering up President Joe Biden’s numerous crimes. “Murder is a serious crime, and the fact that Kenny McCormick is not technically a real person makes no difference.”
The DOJ claims that Trump killed Kenny after a rally in Colorado when the cartoon character was sucked into the engine of Trump’s plane.
Buttz added that three of Kenny’s former classmates were witnesses to the alleged killing of their friend and plans on using their testimony once Trump’s trial starts.
“That bastard killed Kenny,” said Buttz with tears in his eyes. “Those were the words said by three innocent children as they watched former President Trump kill their friend in cold blood.”
Trump’s attorneys argued the fact that Kenny dies at the end of every episode anyway and then always comes back to life on a new show, which absolves Trump of any culpability in the cartoon character’s death.
