OTTAWA, CANADA– In celebration of Canada Day, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave a televised speech where he had twenty-one of his finest Mounted Police trample over innocent Canadian citizens and also took a selfie to forever commemorate the special day.
While Canadian Mounties trampled over people lying on the ground, Trudeau smiled big and told a crowd of stunned onlookers that this is exactly how he felt about them and Canada in general.
“Glad you could all come and join in on the Canada Day festivities,” said Trudeau as hundreds of people screamed and ran for cover. “On this special holiday I would like to commemorate all the foolish subjects who dared to protest against me for freedom by having my mounted gestapo perform a beautiful twenty-one horse trampling salute.”
Trudeau looked on with glee as a few old ladies got stomped on by police horses, and then saluted the police officers for blindly following his tyrannical orders.
“I love the sounds of screaming Canadians in the morning,” said Trudeau, inundating his ears with the victims cries. “In fact, I’m having so much fun watching these subjects get trampled on that I think I’m going to extend Canada Day for another week. Let the games begin.”
While the twenty-one wounded victims were being put on stretchers to be taken to the hospital, Trudeau reminded every one of them to make sure to vote for him in the upcoming election.
