OTTAWA, CANADA– As a way to show his respect and appreciation for America’s most popular president in history, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rolled out the red carpet for Joe Biden and then had his Royal Canadian Mounties trample over dozens of protesters who were there to object to Trudeau’s new horse trampling policies.
While watching big, burly mounted police officers use their 1,200 pound horses to crush the heads of insubordinate citizens who dared to open their mouths and speak out of line, Trudeau and Biden shook hands for a photo op and then laughed in unison at the agonizing screams of pain emanating from the mouths of Canadian citizens.
“I love the smell of slaughtered protesters in the morning, eh,” said Trudeau as Biden sniffed the prime minister’s herbal scented hair and groaned from the excitement. “Look at the majestic way those graceful horses break the ribs of old ladies who refused to be euthanized by my totally safe COVID vaccines, eh. This one’s for you, President Biden.”
Trudeau recently passed the Horse Trampling Protesters Act to give police the necessary training in horse trampling techniques for whenever a Canadian citizen gets a little unruly, such as not bowing down and worshipping the current prime minister or for not dying right away after taking the COVID shot.
Sources claim Biden was so impressed with Canada’s horse trampling of protesters that the US president decided to sign his own executive order which would allow failed Georgia politician Stacey Abrams to trample over anyone protesting the government.
