WASHINGTON– After spending his entire career searching for the truth, Special Agent Fox Mulder was officially terminated by the FBI and has already been replaced by a pink-haired, evidence-destroying diversity hire.
The FBI said Agent Mulder was causing friction within the federal law enforcement agency for seeking the truth regarding the Biden Administration’s corruption, along with his tenacious research into what’s happening with all the billions of dollars being sent to Ukraine every week.
“The FBI can’t have its agents seeking the truth or trying to bring real criminals to justice,” said FBI Director Christopher Wray. “For years we looked the other way as former Agent Mulder chased aliens and monsters, but going after President Biden’s son Hunter for his documented crimes or for refusing to plant evidence inside Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home is totally unacceptable.”
Agent Mulder was formally investigating X-Files cases due to the belief that extraterrestrials had abducted his sister, but later switched over to investigating Joe Biden after learning that it wasn’t aliens but the president that had snuck into his female sibling’s bedroom at night to sniff her hair.
Still refusing to give up the search into the president that had sniffed and groped his sister, Mulder was found with his hands tied behind his back with nine gunshot wounds to the back of the head. The FBI has ruled Mulder’s death a suicide and have already cremated his body to avoid any autopsies.
