OTTAWA, CANADA– After giving an embarrassing speech recently where he flubbed his lines regarding plastic water bottles, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has turned to world-class linguist US Vice President Kamala Harris for public speaking advice.
Trudeau says he was ashamed he couldn’t lie about his use of plastics without stuttering and stammering and therefore asked the qualified orator Harris to give him speaking lessons during her downtime of helping President Biden destroy America.
“Uh, I, um, have been practicing my, ya know, speech thing with Vice President Harris,” said Trudeau eloquently after spending the past three days getting one-on-one training. “She, um, she, yeah, definitely is skilled in the, uh, area of oration, or so I heard.”
When reached for comment, Harris said she was proud of how well her new student Trudeau was doing in regards to his speech training and that if she wasn’t serving in public office then she definitely would have been a speech therapist or possibly an English teacher.
“Yeah, I, uh, um, have some real, like, good abilities,” said Harris when asked where she learned to speak so articulately. “I, uh, had lots of, um, like good mentors who, uh, um, took me under their wing, and uh, told me I was, like, really good with my oral skills.”
In order to hone his public speaking techniques even further, Trudeau stated that after Harris finishes teaching him everything she knows about oration that he plans on asking Joe Biden to teach him how he does such a fine job speaking to the press without flubbing his words, stuttering, zoning out, or coming across as a senile mental patient.
