OTTAWA, CANADA– Moments after Elon Musk posted a tweet comparing Justin Trudeau to Hitler, the Canadian Prime Minister quickly shot back by saying he has absolutely nothing in common with the Nazi leader, but for some strange reason feels he has a strong connection to Fidel Castro.
“I took personal offense when Mr. Musk tweeted that I’m literally like Hitler, eh,” said Trudeau during a brief morning press conference to clear the confusion. “While I can appreciate some of the drastic things Hitler has done, for some reason I liken myself more to the wonderful, caring, and compassionate man Fidel Castro, who led Cuba with the same endearing love that I’m trying to violently force onto Canadian citizens.”
Trudeau said he doesn’t understand why he feels attached to Castro, saying the communist dictator almost feels like he’s the father he always wanted.
“I spoke with my mother recently about my peculiar connection to Comrade Castro, eh” said Trudeau as he politely signaled for Canadian Mounties to lovingly beat truckers into submission. “For some odd reason, mother tensed up when I mentioned Mr. Castro and told me she was very drunk that night she visited Cuba. Strange, eh.”
To prove to the world that he isn’t like the evil German Nazi leader that Elon compared him to, Trudeau said he plans on coming to an amicable agreement with the truckers by freezing their bank accounts, stealing their trucks, food, and fuel, and then having them all peacefully slaughtered in the name of racial justice.
