CANADA—Expressing a quiet, shared assumption that the current situation was temporary, millions of Canadians confirmed Friday they are still waiting for the country’s “real” prime minister to arrive, explaining that the man currently occupying the role appears to be more of an incompetent placeholder than a fully installed capable leader.
The growing sense of public bewilderment comes over a year into the term of Mark Carney, with many citizens calling it one of the worst practical jokes in Canadian history.
“I keep looking out the window every time I hear a heavy truck, thinking hopefully this is the real prime minister finally coming,’” said Alberta native Mike Jenkins, watching Carney stutter through a televised speech. “But then I turn on the news and it’s just this same idiot talking about climate change and MAID again. I keep saying to myself there’s no way this hoser’s the leader of our country. We’ve all been wondering when the person actually in charge is going to end this nightmare and take over.”
Across the country, citizens reported confidently assuring one another that the federal government would soon unveil a more definitive, reassuring figure, but had also admitted to a growing, unspoken fear that no additional prime minister was coming.
At press time, Canadians reported they would continue giving it another week or two before seriously considering the possibility that Carney actually was the prime minister.
