NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio was scrambling to come up with a solution to all the discontented firemen who quit in protest of his vaccine mandate, finally coming up with the brainstorm idea to utilize all the state’s unused vaccines to put out the rampaging fires spreading quickly across the city.
With so many New York citizens refusing the COVID injections, de Blasio figured what better way to solve two problems with one action than to use all the millions of unwanted vaccine vials to put out the fires that would have been extinguished with water by the firemen.
“These COVID vaccines are totally safe and effective, and I’m going to prove it by using them to put out burning buildings,” said de Blasio as city workers replaced fire hydrants with COVID vials. “If our healthy firemen refuse to inject themselves with an experimental gene therapy shot that may have possibly killed a few hundred thousand people then I don’t need them.”
The mayor showed news reporters just how effective the vaccines are at putting out fires by squirting a syringe into the air as the Empire State Building burnt to the ground within minutes.
“Look at how long it took for that building to burn to the ground,” said de Blasio with a smile, proud of his ingenious achievement. “Our city will be just fine without all our insubordinate firemen. These vaccines are so effective at replacing our firemen that perhaps I’ll also replace our entire police force with COVID vials. Very soon I’ll be placing an order for more vaccines with whichever drug company gives me the biggest payoff.”
