WASHINGTON– Resident Joe Biden has gone on the offensive against pesky news reporters who keep asking him questions about the fiasco in Afghanistan by hiring former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to scream out “What difference does it make?” in an effort to evade topics that are nobody else’s business.
An unemployed Clinton jumped at the chance to finally feel some type of self worth and agreed to defend the spry popular president during these mundane times when American citizens are being slaughtered overseas by friendly Taliban locals.
Immediately after sniffing Clinton’s hair and groping her warty back, Biden put Hillary front-and-center as he took questions from prescreened White House journalists.
“What difference does it make?” Clinton yelled while waving her hands around as though she was using the Jedi mind trick on weak-minded media imbeciles. “With all due respect, the fact is we have thousands of dead Americans due to maybe some people doing something or something doing some people. What difference at this point does it make?”
Once Biden exited the room to wipe his nose, Fox News’ Peter Doocy confronted Clinton about the massive amount of weapons that were left behind for the new rulers of Kabul, asking whether Joe bears any of the responsibility for the dozens of people dead in the recent airport attack.
“What difference at this point does it make?” Clinton fired back to the cheers of CNN’s Jim Acosta. “I didn’t hear any of you grilling former President Trump on whether he took responsibility for callously accepting the role of president when he knows that I deserved to be the first female president of the United States.”
According to Clinton’s employment contract, she has also agreed to cover for Biden whenever he’s asked other tough questions by unbiased mainstream media outlets, such as “What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?”, “How many fingers am I holding up?”, and “How Long is a Chinaman?”
