WASHINGTON– House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has apologized to President Donald Trump for blaming him for being responsible for the world’s coronavirus losses, claiming she came to her senses after eating a Snickers candy bar.
In a one-on-one interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper, Pelosi told the host that she has been feeling, cranky, weak, and dopey lately, not realizing those were the universal symptoms of hunger.
“I’ve been hungry for a long time and didn’t even realize it,” Pelosi explained to Tapper while eating her fifth Snickers bar of the morning. “I didn’t realize that I wasn’t myself until my good friend Chuck Schumer pulled me aside and shoved his own half-eaten Snickers bar into my mouth.”
With chocolate covered lips, Pelosi added, “Once I had finished eating that chocolatey-goodness, I had an awakening and discovered that for the last four years I’ve been blaming Trump for everything’s that’s wrong in our country.”
In light of this groundbreaking revelation, Pelosi went on Twitter and told the world that she had been wrong about the president and asked his forgiveness for ripping up the State of the Union address, the impeachment, Russia, Ukraine, and for writing vulgar things about him on the bathroom wall of the Capitol Building.
Numerous world leaders who also once blamed Trump for being culpable for various atrocities have also been eating Snickers bars to awaken from their coma, including China’s President Xi who recently telephoned Trump and told him he was sorry for accusing him of sending the US Army into China to spread the coronavirus.
To make up for his error, President Xi has offered to send the United States non-defective medical supplies to make up for shipping defective supplies when he was still hungry.
