CLEVELAND, OHIO– Experts from the U.S. Centers for Hysteria Control and Social Media Prevention (CHC) have encouraged Americans to practice “social media distancing” measures to slow the spread of COVID-19 hysteria.
Social media distancing is a public mental health practice that aims to prevent paranoid people from coming in contact with practical people in order to reduce hysteria transmission.
With coronavirus, the goal of social media distancing is to slow down the outbreak of frenzy from social media-induced psychogenic illness in order to reduce the chance of mass anxiety hysteria infection among high-risk individuals, such as those who spend a considerable amount of time on Facebook and Twitter.
The CHC defines social media distancing as “staying at least 6 feet away from your phone or computer” and “avoiding websites where large groups of people interact.”
Many humble celebrities like Chrissy Teigen and Madonna have jumped aboard the social media distancing bandwagon by sharing daily photos of themselves on Twitter and Instagram inside their multi-million dollar homes avoiding social media sites altogether.
Dr. Adam Jerome, a representative from the CHC with a doctorate degree in social media interaction, said on Tuesday that he thinks the federal government’s social media distancing guidance should extend permanently.
“In my professional social media opinion, I think in 30 days we’ll still be telling people to stay off of Twitter and Facebook,” Dr. Jerome told NBC’s Today show.
Jerome went on to say that Donald Trump was very receptive to the idea of Americans refraining from social media, until the president was informed that included him as well.
