JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA– Be careful of all those fish out in the sea. Police say a tuna was beaten and robbed after getting lured into a seedier part of town by a cat who was posing as a fish on the popular dating site Plenty Of Fish.
The victim met a cat online who was pretending to be a salmon with the dating profile name Salmonella_Cakes_91, easily tricking the fish into taking the bait. The unnamed tuna told police that when he went to meet the cat, the address that he was given led to a dark alleyway in Jacksonville.
According to the official police report, once the tuna made it to the end of the alley, two cats in black ski masks jumped out from behind some trashcans and started beating the victim with toy mice stuffed into rolled up towels.
While the fish was lying on the ground, the two cats took turns scratching the saltwater fish with their sharp claws. One of the cats then held the tuna down by his fins and let his partner bite the frightened victim’s head.
The report went on to say that one of the cats demanded that the victim empty his gills, where the fish said he had approximately $2.69.
The fish stated that the cats then threatened to eat him if he called the police.
One of the cats told him that tuna was his favorite fish and that he’s already killed and eaten hundreds of his Albacore family members. The cat also said not to mess with him because he has extensive brain damage due to all the mercury from eating so much tuna.
After the cats fled the scene on paw, the fish went into a fish market across the street where a dolphin then called the police.
CBS News obtained surveillance video that captured the two frisky felines with their masks off and they were later identified as Milo and Oreo.
Police say cats use online dating sites like Plenty Of Fish as an easy way to lure in naive fish to either rob or eat them. Authorities suggest fish be extra vigilant when meeting someone for the first time and to perhaps set up a date someplace where most felines are known to avoid, such as bodies of water, inside moving cars, and noisy areas.
