SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– Still counting ballots almost two weeks after Election Day, California election officials have reassured Americans that they should finally be done processing every ballot from the 2024 election by no later than the 2028 presidential election.
Even though most states like Florida finished counting the entire state’s ballots in only a couple hours, Democrat-run states like California have made it clear that the only reason Republican states finished in less than a day was because they weren’t cheating.
“Cheating takes time,” said California election official Ima Shittburd as a U-Haul truck pulled up with just enough fake ballots to steal the election away from the Republican candidates. “It’s easy to count the real ballots without having to create all these fake ballots in an effort to get win for the Democrat. We should be praised for how well the Democrats are able to cheat and get away with it. No one respects talent nowadays.”
With so many people watching the election this year, California officials had to get even more creative in how they produced so many fraudulent ballots while still flying under the radar.
At publishing time, California officials said even though there were still millions of ballots to count, they had a strange feeling that all the Democrat candidates were going to win.
