Saudi Arabia Sentences Camel To 100 Years In Prison For Not Covering Its Hump In Public

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA– A camel in Saudi Arabia was sentenced to 100 years in prison today for forgetting to cover her hump with a burka out in public, causing women’s rights groups around the world to petition their respective government leaders to ask Saudi king Salman to have the harsh sentence overturned.

According to the Riyadh Post, the 3 year old female camel named Al Gasreed, which means “camel that does not drink much water” in English, left her stable in the southside of Riyadh last week to have her harness tightened when she was confronted and arrested by Saudi police for venturing outside of her home without the proper Islamic covering for her hump.

“Miss Gasreed has committed a serious offense,” said Saudi spokesman Bezos Hamza Saad by way of Arabic to English sign language translator.

Saad added, “Here in Saudi Arabia it is forbidden for any female camel to venture out in public without first wrapping her hump in a respectable cloth covering, preferably black in color and made out of cotton due to temperature issues. And also the fact that camels are allergic to polyester.”

Saudi officials would not let CNN Middle East News reporters into the prison to interview the camel, so officials drafted up their own statement and wrote down what they believe the camel would say in her own words.

“Yes, I am very guilty,” the camel supposedly wrote in the statement. “I have been very bad and I deserve the harshest of punishments. Please, Americans and the rest of the world, do not try to save me. I am okay. I am enjoying my stay in prison. It doesn’t even feel like prison. It sort of feels like I’m in a nice vacation resort in the desert under the scorching 200 degree sun.”

Update: After this article was written, it was reported that the camel put out yet another handwritten statement, this time stating that she wanted to be executed by firing squad and then beheaded and then burned alive for the crime that she had committed. Saudi officials granted the camel her wish.