Peeping Tom Caught Watching Paint Dry

SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA– A Santa Monica man was arrested today by the long arm of the law after he was caught spying into the home of paint while she was drying.

According to the Santa Monica Press, 34 year old peeping tom Jack Tripper was apprehended by police after numerous 911 calls reported a man with binoculars standing outside of the home of paint while she was drying herself off after a recent coating.

“Mr. Tripper is being held in the Santa Monica jail on charges of peeping,” 49 year old Chief of police Bill Philips said to a crowd of Fox News reporters. “After receiving four 911 calls regarding a suspicious individual, Santa Monica police arrested the suspect as he stood outside the window of an unnamed paint as she dried herself off in the privacy of her own home.”

Witnesses to the crime stated that they saw Mr. Tripper take a paintbrush out of his pocket and wave it around in front of paint’s window.

“He’s a sick man,” said 63 year old housewife Helen Roper, talking to CNN reporters while wearing a pink muumuu. “This isn’t the first time I saw this pervert staring at paint while she was drying. Two weeks ago, another coat of paint was drying two houses down and I caught this peeper in the bushes sticking a paint roller down the front of his pants.”

Police state that Mr. Tripper has a history of peeping on paint drying.

“Yes, Mr. Tripper is a repeat offender,” said Chief Philips, reading off a report. “Mr. Tripper’s been apprehended three times in the past for the same crime. One time at his place of employment by his supervisor Frank Angelino where he works as a chef, another time at the local pub the Regal Beagle, and also another time by his landlord Mr. Furley.”

Used car salesman and Tripper’s close acquaintance Larry Dallas told reporters that Jack Tripper can’t be the infamous peeping tom because of Mr. Tripper’s sexual orientation.

“Jack’s gay,” said Dallas, looking around for Mr. Furley. “Jack’s innocent and can’t be the peeper for that very reason. Watching paint drying doesn’t interest Jack at all.”