Dead Cats And Dogs Litter Small Town

WATERLOO, WISCONSIN– Early yesterday morning in the small town of Waterloo, local residents were shocked after waking up to the sight of dozens of dead cats and dogs littered all over their properties.

After talking to agencies in Washington, the town’s mayor, Jimmy Wheeler, held an informal public meeting in front of the town’s thirty-two residents, giving them the grim report.

“According to the special watchdog division in Washington,” Wheeler started to say with his bearded head down, “there was apparently a cargo plane delivering food supplies to North Korea and the plane’s delivery hatch malfunctioned, which opened it up and dropped all of its cargo.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the building as Mayor Wheeler went on. “Fortunately, paramedics were unable to resuscitate the cargo, but unfortunately the cargo has been damaged. So, President Obama has informed me that the United States will be sending a diplomatic representative to North Korea in the hopes of smoothing things over with their Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. Apparently he doesn’t like his meat already tenderized.”

Calls to Washington were forwarded to a local McDonalds.