Biden Awards Presidential Medal Of Freedom To Freddy Krueger For His Humane Work On Treating Sleep Disorders
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden has stirred a bit of controversy with some of his picks for the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which included various evil villains like George Soros, Hillary…
Governor Kathy Hochul Stands In Front Of Empty Bear Cage To Prove How Rare Bear Attacks Are
BRONX, NEW YORK-- After yet another New York citizen was attacked by a bear while out hiking, NY Governor Kathy Hochul went to the Bronz Zoo to stand in front…
Grieving FBI Agents Kneel In Remembrance Of Deceased New Orleans Terrorist
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA-- It was a somber moment for agents at the FBI after they heard that the violent terrorist who killed almost twenty people had passed away, with the…
FBI Closes Case On New Orleans Terrorist Attack After Not Finding Any Little, Old MAGA Grandmoms Waving American Flags To Arrest
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA-- The FBI has announced early this morning that the investigation into the New Orleans terrorist attack has been closed already after they were unable to locate any…
Kamala Releases New Book ‘How To Pay Off Your Campaign Money Laundering By Selling A Plagiarized Book’
U.S.-- In an effort to pay off the massive money laundering debt she accumulated during her failed campaign to win the presidency, Kamala Harris will be releasing a new book…
Trump Promises To Make Van Halen’s ‘Panama’ US National Anthem After Taking Over Panama Canal
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- President-Elect Donald Trump doubled down on his desire to take over the Panama Canal and has promised to make Van Halen's iconic song Panama the official national…
Dan Crenshaw Unveils New Clean-Shaven Face Before Returning To Congress
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to improve his image as a corrupt RINO Republican, Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw revealed his new clean-shaven face during an interview on Fox News Sunday morning,…
Elon Musk Releases New Tesla Rickshaw Model
U.S.-- Entrepreneur and billionaire businessman Elon Musk has recently unveiled an all-new Tesla Rickshaw model that he says was created entirely by a group of genius H1B Indian employees he…
Sullen Obama Spends Last Christmas At White House As Third Term Winds Down
WASHINGTON-- It was a bittersweet moment for Barack Obama this Christmas as he enjoyed his last holiday party inside of the White House as his third term as president winded…
Trump Threatens To Return Seth Rogen If Trudeau Doesn’t Secure Canadian Border
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- President-Elect Donald Trump has issued yet another warning to Canada on the heels of his inauguration, saying that if Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau doesn't secure the…
Santa Claus’s Sleigh Robbed While Delivering Gifts In San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Christmas was cut short this year after Santa Claus's sleigh was robbed while delivering gifts in a high crime area of San Francisco, leaving millions of children…
Elves Hold Intervention For Santa Claus After He Becomes Addicted To Ozempic
NORTH POLE-- After beloved Santa Claus lost a massive amount of weight quickly and began getting frail from taking too much of the weight-loss drug Ozempic, Santa's elves started worrying…
