Oops: ‘P Diddy Client List’ Accidentally Soaked With Baby Oil Only Moments Before It Was Set To Be Released
WASHINGTON-- The flukiest thing happened this week when federal authorities were just about to release the infamous P Diddy client list, but then at the last minute had to announce…
Mitch McConnell Announces His Retirement From The Chinese Communist Party
BEIJING, CHINA-- It was a sad day in China after Republican Senator Mitch McConnell announced his retirement from the Chinese Communist Party at the young age of 192, with President…
France Increases Military Spending To 5% To Pay For More White Flags Of Surrender
PARIS, FRANCE-- As soon as word spread that President Donald Trump was pulling US troops out of Europe, France President Emmanuel Macron quickly announced that The Hexagon country would be…
Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Biden-Era Push To Hire More Blind FAA Pilots
WASHINGTON-- Amidst another round of executive orders signed by President Donald Trump was a ban targeting former President Joe Biden's push to hire more blind airplane pilots during the previous…
Zelensky Spies On Russia-Ukraine Peace Talks By Posing As Garden Gnome
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA-- After feeling slighted that he wasn't invited to the Russia-Ukraine peace talks, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky decided to spy on the secret proceedings in Saudi Arabia by…
Xi Jinping Threatens To Fire Mitch McConnell If He Lets Trump Ban China From Buying US Farmland
BEIJING, CHINA-- After receiving the terrible news that President Donald Trump was planning on banning China from purchasing more US farmland, an incensed Xi Jinping warned his employee Senator Mitch…
Germany’s Sesame Street Introduces New Muppet Character ‘Musaab The Terrorist’
GERMANY-- In the latest episode of Germany's version of Sesame Street called "Sesamstrasse," producers of the show introduced a new character called Musaab, an angry, knife-wielding illegal alien terrorist from…
Awkward Tension On Sesame Street Set After Oscar The Grouch Calls ICE On Big Bird’s Mexican Cousin Abelardo
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– It was a tense moment on the set of children's television show Sesame Street after Muppet actor Oscar the Grouch called ICE immigration to report Big Bird's…
Trudeau Interrupts USA-Canada Hockey Game To Lecture Players On Toxic Masculinity
MONTREAL, CANADA-- There were many wild moments at last night's hockey game between the United States and Canada, but the highlight of the evening was when Canadian Prime Minister Justin…
Nervous Elizabeth Warren Sends Up Smoke Signals To Warn Democrats Of Elon Musk’s Upcoming Audit
WASHINGTON-- After hearing the unfortunate news that a federal judge had blocked her attempt to stop Elon Musk's DOGE from auditing her organization CFPB, proud squaw Elizabeth Warren nervously sent…
AOC Says We Should Be Welcoming Illegal Aliens So We Can Learn More About Outer Space Stuff
WASHINGTON-- As the Trump administration continues to deal with the millions of illegal invaders that have flooded into the country, New York Rep. AOC has come to the illegal aliens…
Elizabeth Warren Vows To Block RFK Jr. Confirmation While Dressed In Pfizer Sponsor Jacket
WASHINGTON-- The confirmation hearings for President Trump's nominees has faced major opposition from Democrats, including from Senator Elizabeth Warren who vowed today to make sure RFK Jr. does not become…
