NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– In a last ditch effort to win the election, former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo made a stunning campaign promise by pledging to personally grope every woman in New York City within his first 100 days in office if elected mayor in 2025.
The embattled Democrat, who resigned as governor in 2021 after dozens of sexual harassment allegations, framed his initiative as a “bold new approach to constituent outreach.”
“I’m not just a leader, I’m definitely a hands-on problem solver,” Andrew Cuomo declared at a rally in Brooklyn as he eyed a blonde woman in the front row. “Every woman in this city deserves to feel my power, my authority, my wandering fingers. It’s time for the mayor’s office to get in touch with the community.”
Cuomo’s “GropeNYC” plan includes a comprehensive database to track which women have been groped and which still require “special attention.” He vowed to personally oversee the effort, starting with subway riders during rush hour.
“I’m promising a new era of direct, tactile constituent engagement,” promised Andrew Cuomo. “No woman will be left behind, or un-fondled. From the top of the Bronx to the bottom of Staten Island, you will feel my commitment as your mayor. I am promising a truly hands-on administration.”
Challenger Zohran Mamdani, a socialist state assemblyman, criticized Cuomo’s approach as too narrow, saying NYC needs a mayor who will not only grope women, but also men and animals.
Cuomo dismissed his opponents, saying, “I’m the only candidate with proven experience. I’ve groped aides, reporters, even my own family members. This isn’t a campaign promise, it’s my brand.”
As the election draws to a close, Cuomo’s campaign tried cashing in on his sexual harassment controversies by distributing free “I Got Groped by Andrew” t-shirts to any females who vote for the mayoral candidate.
