CHICAGO, ILLINOIS– In a fiery speech delivered from the National Bar Association in Chicago, former President Joe Biden launched a scathing attack on President Donald Trump, accusing him of being “dangerously patriotic” after new evidence confirmed Trump never colluded with Russia.
The latest evidence showed that every single individual who made the accusations against Trump were, in fact, actually the ones who committed Russian collusion. Speaking to a crowd of mostly black attorneys and judges, Biden called for an immediate investigation into Trump’s reckless refusal to engage in foreign collusion.
“Word around the street is that Trump guy never even colluded with Russia,” yelled Biden angrily as he squinted his eyes while trying to let out a wet fart. “For years, we were told that Trump was cozying up to Putin, but now we find out it was my fellow Democrats who were on Russia’s payroll. Trump’s refusal to collude with Russia is un-American, Jack. This Trump guy is dangerously patriotic and we better stop him before he tries improving America.”
The revelation revealed that Trump had zero contact with Russian operatives during his presidency, with Biden saying a real president would have at least one shady foreign deal on their résumé.
Democratic lawmakers have rallied behind Biden’s call for action, with House Democrats drafting articles of impeachment against Trump for not colluding with Russia and betraying their anti-American agenda.
