WASHINGTON– A new trade deal was worked out between the United States and China this week, with President Donald Trump scoring a major victory by receiving a free eggroll as part of the major agreement among the two countries.
After waiting about ten minutes for his trade deal bonus to arrive at the Oval Office, Trump opened up his Chinese food bag and then took a huge whiff of the savory, crispy, golden eggroll before removing it from the bag and holding it up for the press to take a few photos for posterity.
“Is that the most beautiful, crispy-looking eggroll you’ve ever seen, or what?” Trump asked as the large group of people let out a few gasps of excitement. “I think this proves once and for all that no one makes deals like me. Biden never would’ve gotten this kind of a deal done. I mean, China even threw in two packets of duck sauce.”
Political pundits have called this a massive victory for the Trump administration and are shocked that China’s President Xi Jinping caved into Trump’s demands for a free eggroll.
“The free eggroll was a major win for Trump and could see his popularity shoot up by at least another fifty points,” cited financial expert Jim Cramer.
Democrats are not taking the win graciously, claiming the eggroll win was a major step backwards in relations between the two superpowers and have even accused Trump of taking a bribe from China in the form of a Chinese takeout appetizer.
