UK– The UK Home Office put out a statement recently saying that it will be taking no further steps on the inquiry into the rampant grooming rape gangs due to not being able to afford the investigations after spending all of the money on Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s cocaine habit.
The statement on the UK’s current fiscal environment came only days after Keir Starmer was caught in a controversial video with fellow world leaders Emmanuel Macron and Friedrich Merz where they are accused of doing drugs and being as high as a kite. Starmer addressed the issue and reported the terrible news that the grooming gang investigations will be closed because he had already snorted all the money up his nose.
“I have good news and bad news to tell all of you,” said PM Keir Starmer as he giggled uncontrollably. “The bad news is, the United Kingdom doesn’t have enough finances to investigate grooming gangs, so it looks like little British girls will remain unsafe. The good news is, I just snorted a line of coke and I’m going to be flying high as hell for the next few hours.”
Starmer also relayed the unfortunate news that the UK will no longer have enough money to pay for citizen’s healthcare and pensions due to those funds also being diverted to the prime minister’s coke parties with world leaders.
Due to the effects of the coke, the prime minister also admitted that the billions of dollars supposedly sent to the Ukraine were also snorted up his and his fellow globalist leader’s noses.
