PHOENIX, ARIZONA– After taking a beating from the media for holding a rally during the dangerous pandemic, President Donald Trump came up with the ingenious idea of having his latest campaign assembly right in the middle of the ongoing Black Lives Matter protests that are somehow unaffected by the virus.
Trump gave a riveting performance during his Phoenix rally as thousands of unmasked BLM protesters and rioters flooded the area in silent protest for some event that happened somewhere to some guy involved with some other guy.
Due to protesters and rioters being immune to the contagious COVID-19 virus that seems to infect everyone but them, Trump decided to hold all future rallies somewhere within the middle of the violent activities to shield both himself and his supporters from becoming infected with the dreaded virus that has suddenly spiked since his Tulsa, Oklahoma rally.
“I’m taking this invisible enemy very seriously,” Trump boasted as thousands of his supporters dodged bricks and Molotov cocktails. “Due to the virus disappearing these last few weeks while protesters and rioters flooded the streets by the thousands, I’ll be holding all my future campaign rallies within the middle of the protests up until November. Or until the fake news media decides to move on to another story.”
The president went on to say that CNN’s anonymous epidemiology experts have discovered that an invisible force-field is created around a large group of people whenever they’re protesting while others are under lockdown
“It’s kind of like the energy fields in Star Wars,” Trump explained in reference to the inability of a virus to penetrate a protest. “George Lucas got that idea from my beautiful Space Force creation.”
Because of Trump’s 4D chess move to hide his rallies within the BLM protests, mainstream news outlets have just uncovered that the virus has mutated once again and any person who is not rioting while interspersed among legitimate rioters is now able to spread the virus to other people.
In response to the media’s new findings, President Trump says he’ll be holding his next rally at the same location as Joe Biden’s five person campaign gathering due to all the excess room.
