U.S.– Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. recently announced another win for the health of Americans after pharmaceutical drug companies agreed to finally start cooking their vaccines in the much healthier beef tallow.
Beef tallow has been making a lot of headlines lately as a much healthier alternative to other cooking oils, with RFK Jr. promising this news will make even the hardcore vaccine supporters happy. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. toured a drug manufacturing plant to give Americans an inside look into the new way large companies such as Pfizer will be making vaccines much healthier.
“I’ve received a lot of flack for my stance on vaccines,” said RFK Jr. as scientists dumped vials into a large deep fryer full of hot beef tallow. “I’ve been called an anti-vaxxer, but I just want vaccines to be safer and to give people a healthier alternative. For now on, all vaccines will be fried in the much healthier beef tallow and I hope this puts to rest the accusations that I’m totally against vaccines.”
While RFK Jr. sat down at a table with the head of the drug company discussing the future of the vaccine industry, a waiter brought out a large dish of freshly cooked vaccines for the two men to try.
“Mmm, these really are delicious,” said RFK Jr. as he chewed a deep-fried COVID-19 vial. “I don’t usually take vaccines, but I must say, theses are pretty good. Beef tallow really does make everything taste so much better.”
Due to RFK Jr.’s push for healthier alternatives, many other items will also start getting fried in beef tallow, including soft drinks, toothpastes, chewing gum, and many others.
“Stay tuned,” teased RFK Jr.
