BERLIN, GERMANY– After yet another terrorist car attack had taken place in Germany on Monday, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz had finally decided to take a more proactive approach at curbing the massive number of car rammings by just banning all vehicles in the country.
Coincidentally of course, there has been a massive amount of car attacks happening in the Deutschland ever since the German government began importing millions of illegal invaders into the country. But finally after the five millionth car attack, the socialist politicians finally decided to do something about it.
“Okay, I admit, we may have a very minor car ramming problem in Germany,” said Chancellor Olaf Scholz regrettably, only hours after more people had been killed by a car ramming. “Now, I’m not suggesting that either our wonderful immigrant community or Muslims are responsible for this. Oh no, this is the fault of our native German people for disrespecting our foreign guests by simply existing. But I digress.”
While police arrested a German man for not letting the jihadist hit him with his car, Scholz went on. “So, in an effort to try and slow down these unfortunate car attacks that are definitely not being perpetrated by our immigrant community, I am hereby banning all vehicles in Germany. I am ordering all German citizens to begin handing their vehicles over to the German government starting next week.”
Scholz added that the ban on vehicles includes delivery vehicles, which will now be required to use an alternative method of transportation, such as walking or running.
The German government also announced their efforts to stop violent stabbings by just giving the immigrants guns instead.
