WASHINGTON– Worried about her upcoming debate after her disastrous CNN interview, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly tapped eloquent speaker President Joe Biden to help her prepare to face off against Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.
Harris was very impressed with the way Biden handled himself during his debate with Trump, especially the way he stuttered, rambled, and said completely incoherent statements.
“This Biden guy comes highly recommended, I heard he’s even the president of the United States,” said Kamala after a few drinks as though she had never even met Biden. “My aides told me my CNN interview wasn’t that good and I needed to find someone who was even gooder at speaking than me.”
Sources said Biden was thrilled to teach Kamala all the secrets he knows at winning debates, including wearing an earpiece while someone feeds the lines, hiding cheat sheets under a jacket sleeve, and getting pumped up full of drugs to be able to stay awake later than 4PM.
When asked what his thoughts were on helping Harris with her public speaking skills, Biden said, “Look, fat, I may not know who this Camel toe Harris is, but I freinharble garbletrungle dingifferablle. Well, you know the thing.”
