OTTAWA, CANADA– As Prime Minister Keir Starmer continues to come down hard on UK protesters, a distraught Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was reportedly jealous of the British leader being able to beat, attack, and arrest citizens and said he would love to relive the moments of the 2022 Truckers For Freedom beatdowns.
Trudeau sat inside of his office watching UK police attack, arrest, and imprison British citizens, causing Justin to smile big and contemplate starting a false flag in Canada so he can also have fun hurting people again.
“Oh, look at all the fun Keir’s having squashing his subjects,” said Justin Trudeau as he painted his fingernails to relieve the stress. “Why can’t I do this again? It was so much fun invoking the Emergencies Act and watching all those beautiful horses trample on the heads of little old ladies. I must regain that thrill at all costs.”
The Canadian prime minister called up Starmer to give him some advice on the best way to keep Britons in line.
“Don’t be scared to freeze their bank accounts also,” said Trudeau to Starmer over the phone. “I also put many of my subjects in detainment centers where I force vaccinated them multiple times a day, all to combat the dangerous climate change epidemic.”
At publishing time, Trudeau had offered to send Starmer mounted police to trample over unruly citizens, but only if Keir holds the phone up so Justin can hear all of the protester’s screams.