WASHINGTON– After a failed assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, disappointed Democrats were left embarrassed and scratching their heads at what to do, being that they had already sent out their sympathy cards to Melania Trump last week a full two days before Trump’s rally ever took place.
Democratic congressional leaders went into Capitol Hill Monday morning and laughed embarrassingly amongst themselves at the thought of Melania opening all those “We’re sorry for your loss” cards with her husband Donald by her side.
“Boy, this sure is awkward,” said Senator Chuck Schumer with a smirk as he and his fellow Democrat colleagues shrugged their apathetic shoulders. “I guess we jumped the gun on that one. Oops, sorry, no pun intended. When Trump sees all those sympathy cards postmarked last week do you think he’ll believe we had anything to do with what happened to him that day? I mean, it’s not like we knew ahead of time that something would happen that day.”
AOC was left thinking about how uncomfortable it would be if Trump won the presidency and then they all had to work together with him every day, starting to worry about that condolence card she had sent out.
“This is sure embarrassing,” said AOC, nodding her head in agreement. “I never should have signed my card as ‘My name.’ I should have used some type of fake name like, I don’t know, AOC, or something.”
President Joe Biden was set to give a speech after the assassination attempt on Trump, but was severely delayed after his aides had to scrap the prewritten eulogy speech for a “we’re so happy you’re alive and we don’t condone any type of political violence.”
