WASHINGTON– With Hillary Clinton recently hinting that she may run for president in 2024, old skeletons inside her closet began reappearing once again, including the one where she’s been accused of saying and doing racist things.
Former Secretary of State Hillary defended her numerous racist actions and proved to the world that she’s not bigoted by reminding everyone that her husband Bill had an affair with a black woman many years ago, which according to Hillary makes her not a racist.
“I can prove I’m not racist by reminding everyone that Bill cheated on me back in the 1990’s with a black woman,” said Hillary, using her best southern jive accent. “Would a real racist let her husband cheat on her behind her back with a darkie without her even knowing about it? Of course not.”
After removing a strategically placed hot sauce packet from her pocket, Hillary added, “It’s kind of like when a white person says they have a black friend. It totally nullifies them calling a black person the N word.”
Hillary was referring to the controversy surrounding former president Bill Clinton when tapes recorded by Gennifer Flowers arose showing that he was fooling around with numerous women, including a few African-American acquaintances.
On the tapes, Bill was heard saying that a certain black woman “had darkened his door.” Clinton denied the affair, drawing the ire of Hillary who said she won’t be able to use the affair as an excuse to continue saying racist things, such as black people are “super predators” and they “should be brought to heel.”
Due to her husband Bill ruining her game plan by denying the affair with the black woman, Hillary stated that she would be willing to have sex with a random black man or woman so she’d be able to continue getting away with spouting racist epithets. She sweetened the deal by saying she’d even let them massage her pale, warty cankles during lovemaking.
At the time of this writing, no black men or women have taken Hillary up on her offer, but a few of them who turned her down have mysteriously gone missing.
